I GOT A NEW SAXOPHONE! AND CHANCES ARE YOU DIDN'T!

AND IT'S A PROFESSIONAL KEILWERTH (en.wikipedia.org/Keilwerth)! Keilwerth is good! BECAUSE IT'S GERMAN AND MADE FOR BIG GERMAN PEOPLE WITH HITLER MOUSTACHES. Ok, maybe not the moustaches but IT'S DEFINITELY MADE FOR BIG GERMANS. BUT IT'S STILL GOOD. IT'S MUCH BETTER THAN THAT GOD DARNED YAMAHA! YOU CAN'T EVEN SLUR FROM LOW B FLAT TO LOW B. STUPID CRAPPY YAMAHA. NOW I SHALL PLAY MY KEILWERTH SOME MORE! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! *PLAYS AUG 4THS FOR A FEW HOURS*

AH YES! MUCH BETTER!

AND THE TEMBY WAS CRAP TOO. THE LOW NOTES SOUNDED LIKE SOMEONE GROWLING LIKE A BEAR. AND THE SELMER WAS GOOD, BUT IT COST $47865398475943593485092598432793759843702852345! (PLUS INSURANCE AND WALKING STICK)

AND I ALSO NOW HAVE A BETTER SAXOPHONE CASE THAN YOU! IT'S ONE OF THE FEW CASES IN THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN FIT A KEILWERTH INTO (Literally!) AND IT IS FAR BETTER LOOKING THAN ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING! AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY OLD CASE WAS BETTER LOOKING THAN A LOT OF YOU PEOPLE! AND I ALSO HAVE A NEW MOUTHPIECE. IT'S PROFESSIONAL ASWELL! AND I HAVE A NEW NECKSTRAP! WHICH IS CLASSED AS UBER!

ACTUALLY, THEY NEED A NEW CATEGORY FOR SAXOPHONES CALLED 'FROMG THIS SAXOPHONE IS SO UBER THAT ONLY JACKSON SWEENEY CAN USE IT!' AND MY UBER KEILWERTH FALLS INTO THIS CATEGORY!

UBER UBER UBER UBER

AND THE GUY IN THE SHOP CLASSIFIED SAXOPHONE SOUND: 'CLASSICAL, AND EVERYTHING ELSE'. I THINK HE MEANT 'GOOD, AND ABSOLUTE CRAP'. EVERYBODY HATES THE ABSOLUTE CRAP CATEGORY. AND IF YOU DON'T, YOOOUUUUU AAARRREEEE AAAAA PPPOOOLLLAARRR BEEAAARRR!!!!!!!!!

AND I WAS PLAYING MEDIEVAL II! I TOOK OVER PARIS AND RHEIMS AND THEN FORCED THOSE FRENCHIES INTO A CEASEFIRE! THE FRENCH SOUND FUNNY. SO DO THE SCOTTISH. AND THE AFRICANS SOUND FUNNY TOO. AND MY CARDINAL WAS ALMOST ELECTED POPE. BUT THEN ALONG CAME SOME OTHER CRAPPY CARDINAL AND HE GOT ELECTED POPE BECAUSE MY OFFICIAL REPUTATION IS 'DUBIOUS'. JUST BECAUSE I MADE SEVERAL ALLIANCES AND THEN DECLARED WAR ON THOSE NATIONS! FLARRRRGGGHHHH!!!! NOW TO KILL MORE FRENCHIES!